Excellent article. As a widow, divorcee, single mom of four, domestic violence survivor, married three times by the age of 32, caring for a chronically ill husband and the aesthetic challenge of being 90% grey by the age of 37, I can say that going through a pile of crap at 100 mph with momentum fueled by pluck is quite a feat. But it can be done. One must be fully committed to owning their experience with authority, sass, grace, and honesty. So, as a result of my experiences matched by a huge mountain of compassion I store in my heart, I have learned the most powerful type of sentence one can say to the bereaved, stressed out, injured, and downtrodden. It can look something like:
“This totally sucks, and I don’t know how to make it better, but I am open to shaking things up and going to jail with you doing something stupid and memorable if it makes you feel better.”
They are disarmed and laugh, we hug, I say more sweet and salty things, they open up if they want, or just continue on the fun conversation, and our friendship continues more deeply rooted in emotional truth than it was before.
The people who have healed my heart throughout the trials I have had are those who made me smile about something. Be that person that makes someone smile.